24

The biggest burden I carry
Was imparted on me
By a man who lived in greed.
But he’s forgiven completely.
It was long, long ago, you see,
And I know what guilt does to need.
Jesus died for him and me.
I was only four, but now I’m free.

Too much?
Sorry.
I’m dealing with it like I’m playing Blackjack.
Hit me again,
We’ll see if I can still fall slack.
I have never faced attacks
Like it’s been lately, whacked
Myself upside the head until it grew lumps back.
Somebody once told I could not inflict real damage with my hands,
But they were wrong, too, and my anger’s bad,
I repeat the thoughts incessantly, my OCD takes bat.
If I am a tee-ball, I’m still over that.
Jesus gave His life so I could leave my past.
No abuse can separate me from the love
Of God in Jesus Christ.

Twenty-four years
Before I faced the devil’s thief.
Twenty-four years
It took ’til I felt peace.
I start days early,
Yeah, twice a day I sleep.
I fight with feeling fear,
But God restored my glee.
I can wear new jeans
Even if I cannot see.
Jesus set me free.
Jesus set me free.

On the outside of my cigarette box,
There’s a warning for my thoughts.
But if that fails and I open it up, “Oh great,”
There’s a note that says “It’s never too late.”
So which one is it, cigarette box?
Will I die or will I make it? You sure talk a lot.
Learned a lesson the hard way,
But mockers just won’t let it stay.
I’m still here, we don’t know squat.
I could be quiet like a fox,
But then what would they say?
Don’t worry, I can get over myself today.

Twenty-four years
Before I faced the devil’s thief.
Twenty-four years
It took ’til I felt peace.
I start days early,
Yeah, twice a day I sleep.
I fight with feeling fear,
But God restored my glee.
I can wear new jeans
Even if I cannot see.
Jesus set me free.

I put music in my ears.
Couldn’t stop, obsessively,
It was all about my fear,
Then I got upset and really clear.
I decided I could make something full of glee,
I turned from my endless anger at my own anxiety.
Now I get to be here,
And my heart has smiles for me.
You could take a seat,
But I’m still learning to breathe
Instead of spewing words out constantly.
I guess I just want you to see
That I’m not there yet, but I mean to be.
It’s okay to pray for peace
When you just feel endless grief.
Those who sow in tears
Come sprinting back with glee.

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