Gleefully Free

“I was asleep,” I wept,
Didn’t hit the street, I confess.
Felt empty defeat,
And it got so overwhelming to me
That I went and fell asleep.
I wept and I cried and now I’m starting to feel
Like I’m just a little bit less of me.
Left a room inside with space for Mercy’s Seat.
I wept and I cried
And now I’m starting to heal.
Took a little longer than I ever thought was real,
But I cannot complain that the Potter pressures me.
If I wanted something else, it wouldn’t take my grief.
If I was done enduring pain for the sake of what’s in store for these,
It wouldn’t be a difficult thing to get out of this scream.
Prozac, maybe Xanax, they all nullify my glee,
Take away the part of me that cries when I have need,
Leave me without problems for a day, and I’ll waste away in three.

And I’m free.
Legit, so free.
Tell me what to be,
But I’m already here.
And I’m free.
Legit, so free.
Tell me all I could be,
But Jesus already rescued me.
And I’m free.
And I’m already here.

I’m not strong enough to act like what I am can sustain me.
But Jesus is so faithful it’s like I don’t need to breathe.
Cover me in water, you might see me dance so janky,
Running where it’s chest deep is like anti-gravity.
Moon shoes maybe look like this but that’s just Wishbook greed,
Stick my nose in catalogues, but tear out the lingerie.

And I’m free.
Legit, so free.
Tell me what to be,
But I’m already here.
And I’m free.
Legit, so free.
Tell me all I could be,
But Jesus already rescued me.
And I’m free.
And I’m already here.

Do you hear the things I’m saying? My psychiatrist discourages me.
I have a diagnosis that allows me to feel fear.
I don’t think I need to feed the hunger in me
After all, I don’t think I need to bleed
Over what’s already done for me,
For what’s inherited, so not temporary.
Tell me Wednesday isn’t the fourth day of a week.
Tell me I should accept the wrong that I need,
But I promise that I will not listen, I know where to flee.
I can have as much as Jesus gave for free.
I know I already believe, and I know I’m time I’ll see.
I can struggle more, flip the pillow underneath.
Honestly, I keep trying that, and it just soaks the sheets.
Leave the fan on because it feels like 30 degrees.
Muggy like the thunder is just waiting for the lightning.
I could tear myself apart over everything I need,
But I found joy in patience when I saw God loves and agreed.
Jesus took the penalty so we could keep His peace.
I learned just the other day that Yahweh yearns for unity.

And I’m free.
Legit, so free.
Tell me what to be,
But I’m already here.
And I’m free.
Legit, so free.
Tell me all I could be,
But Jesus already rescued me.
And I’m free.
And I’m already here.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: