Breathless

I’m breathless,
I confess,
I trip all over myself.
They tell me that I need help.
I have it, but don’t tell.
Infirmities have bad smells,
Check that with the underwear.
It doesn’t belong anywhere
Near the higher caste, despair
Is unattractive as bad hair.
But nobody seems to care
The hopeless shrink under your stares.
You are no better for your fare,
Don’t we all struggle for what we cherish?
It’s insanity to perish
From not losing what we carry
When the whole time we’re just barely
Holding on to hope like fairies.
But really I am not that angry.
I used to be, did a long stint in that grief,
But I found Someone to carry
Everything so now I can be carefree.
He’s bigger than me.
Infinitely.
He deals greatly
With paupers and kings.
Holiness in threes.
Jesus literally
Never does the wrong thing.
He allows that we remain
In a world that we profaned.
Even when we complain,
“God does not care if we feel pain,”
Jesus simply makes a Way.
He faced death, took the blame.
Let us murder Him, insane,
But rose to life again, third day,
And now we’re made clean by His Name!
I have a garden of hope, it’s plain.
Offer up harvests of fruit that I attain
Give you all that I can do with my faith.
If it’s not much, don’t be afraid to take.
When I’m empty, that’s when I can pray.
So I’m breathlessly rolling away
Mountainslope is icy, and I’m picking up speed today,
Hope that I can carve this, not dead-man diamond flail.
Last week I remembered why I was scared of hell.
Before kindergarten, I blamed myself
For something that I didn’t understand at all.
Didn’t know what to do when I saw more than I ought.
Was sure that it was my fault too, troublemaker’s thoughts.
That was over twenty years of rot
Deep inside, so my ice wouldn’t thaw.
Now I’m breathless, it’s all I’ve got
Just to spill this out, oh oh, my soul.
No way I’m not going on,
Jesus paid for me too, won
Me over before I loved.
Everything He does is sung
About where joy gives life.
He forgave me for my lust,
My little heart devouring rust.
Jesus knew that I’d go bust.
Messiah caught me when I jumped.
Only He knows what I’ll become.
Helped me below what I once
Thought was the minimum.
Belief is all that’s required of us.
Life is affordable with trust,
But all it takes to fall apart is lust.
So while I cannot vouch for my muck,
I can say that God lifted me above.
And if I’m unsure of if I am loved,
Jesus bore the cross, He redefined love.
He told the thief beside Him, welcome to heaven,
Thanked him for believing for the benefit of men.
You can live life and do anything,
And Jesus will always forgive your sins.
Now we can follow Him
So we never get misled.
What corrupts your inside
Way of thinking into lies,
That’s the places where you die,
But Messiah King fills the sky
With cloudy days when Sun is shy.
Paints bright fields of flowered sighs,
Songbirds take to trees at night,
But every day, they sing at the sky.
Breathless.
I’m so breathless.

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