Sometimes it just feels like 
Everyone else is schemin’
Like they all know a secret 
But won’t trust me to see it. 
To keep it. 
Like they’re just sneaking 
And saying I’m not free yet. 
It’s still just all pretense, 
Heaven might come defend 
Me if I just don’t pretend…


4 thoughts on “

  1. David says:

    If someone tells you that they are free and you’re not tell them to they are free to stand without flinching while you punch them in the face. Until they can do that it might be best to acknowledge that we are all trapped here for the time being.

    (sorry for the derailment, just needed to get that off my chest)

    • JeremyJoel says:

      You didn’t derail anything. Somebody commented on my blog! Haha!

      The problem I always face when I’m writing down my feelings is I don’t know what’s real and what isn’t. Digging through it might help a bit, but I wonder if it’s worth the effort.

      • David says:

        Another way to phrase it might be “What is real for others too?” Because I don’t think it’s helpful to deny what’s happening in one’s own head as not real.

      • JeremyJoel says:

        Man, I hope that’s true, but I can’t keep entertaining the conviction that I have a terminal illness or that my loved ones have hired a hit on me.

        It sounds insane because it is. I’m not sure how conventional advice can apply. But I want it to. I really do.

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