feelings

I’m just a cup,
Get filled and emptied out,
And now I’m waiting to be filled,
Feel so empty, help me, help..

There’s always another disaster,
Guess that’s normal, I’m no master
Of this, except maybe calamity, but that’s no answer,
Wish, I wish, I wish, this would pass faster.

What happened to my faith?
I’m still running in this race…
What happened to my faith?
My feet still move in this race…

I can’t think a straight thought,
Stringing rhymes is all I’ve got,
Feel my brain going to rot,
What’s left of me to prop?

Help me…
Help me…

Please, God, nobody else hears me,
Jesus, You know, I need You so badly,
Your grace is enough for me, 
Why does the adversary not heed?

I’m Yours, called by Your Name,
But the torturer just keeps on flaying,
I’ve begged for help, screamed out in pain,
Where are You, God, he’s flaying Your Name…

If the wound is so small,
Why do I scream and bawl?
I can’t stop, can’t stop…
I just scream and howl…

My head’s still off from yesterday’s battle,
It still really hurts, I can’t touch it, don’t tattle,
I’m tired and weary and damaging mental,
And I can’t understand why You’re not rattled.

‘Cause sometiiimes You’re so close
That I think I’m safe, but where do You go?
Must be my faith that’s transient, but oh my soul…
How can I go on with nothing to hold onto?

Am I spoiled, just a bad sprain?
Is this toil all going to be in vain?
I’m afraid, I’m afraid, I’m araid…
You’ve never seen me on charade.

Mask’s off,
Not going back on,
I hate this song,
Help me move along,
I’m wrong, I’m wrong,
But today could go on,
Without a problem,
If I could hold on,
If I can hold on.
If You help me, I can do it,
Lord, don’t just say, please follow through this,
I always get in the way, clumsy, so useless,
Is there a place for me? Please? I’m useless.

If You and Your disciples walked by,
Would You take time to look me in the eye?
Or would You just go with my church and turn me over to night?
God, would You ditch me with my church and wander off into the night?

Maybe that’s why
I’m lonely,
Feeling like,
They don’t love me,
Got my love
At home with me,
She’s my bride,
My warmth, lovely,
It’s all she does
To hold me closely,
And I’m amazed,
The way she loves me…

So I’m not alone,
Just feel no hope,
Wish I could cope,
Want to be stronger, too,
But I fall through,
I just fall through.
Good for me, bad for you,
I’m sorry too.

Do these words say anything that tears can’t?
What are words for? They can’t say anything like tears can.

Fill up my cup,
Please, you see me cough,
I’m soggy, shaking, thrown out,
Everything feels wrong.
Everything is wrong.

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