Oh Well

I keep telling you I’m straight up,
Guess I might as well just lay it all out,
You might think I’m crazy enough,
But you’ve never heard how this came about.

I see when you say I’m too heart on my sleeve,
But I’m not strong like you, cannot pretend that I’m squeaky clean,
I can’t do this own my own, I’m not like you, you see,
So I’m always here for help, whether or not you agree.

It’s hazy for me,
Disappearing memories, it’s daily, don’t grieve,
I get so afraid that they erase themselves for me,
I guess that I could thank me, but it’s harder now to see,
Sometimes I can forget that you mean anything to me.

I went to a doctor who gave me Xanax,
After ’bout two weeks, he switched me off to Prozac,
And on and on we went, I was popping pills like crack,
Messing with my mind in a way I can’t get back.
Changing my presciption like a bedsheet, I fell slack.

And
Then
It all goes red…

There was a zombie in my head,
When I felt, which was rare, I’d be led
Down a coriddor of my mind, I’d dream of death,
Couldn’t feel, or eat, barely filled a breath,
And I remember feeling emptier than hell.

Then my doctor-faith failed,
Was too far away for new pills,
Couldn’t get a prescription, I fell,
Went a week without sleep, I’ll tell,
So afraid to lose it that it’s gone still.

So would you judge me if I tell you,
If I’m honest with you about my medication’s value?
Marijuana smoothes the buzzing edges, will you argue?
It’s the hardest thing for me that my help makes you swoon.
It’s the hardest thing for me, I couldn’t have found it too soon.

Have you ever stepped on a dance floor
And felt your head come loose and soar?
Like your hair opened up like a door
And let loose everything you have ever stored?
Doesn’t even make sense to you, does it? No more.

You don’t have to spend all day
Hanging with friends while inside you flay
Yourself with thoughts like, “I’m gonna die today,”
And, “When are they gonna do it?” I shake like snowflakes,
Absolutely convinced, while I smile, that they’re gonna break my legs.

So yeah, you know anxiety,
But obviously you don’t know me,
Questions get answers 100% better than playing the thief,
But this ice floe’s well beyond your distant soliloquy,
Wish I said this sooner, wish that I was seen,
But instead you sit and judge me, stop up your ears when I scream.

Oh well, oh well,
The government helps me now,
Oh well, oh well,
Judgement will not earn your help,
Oh well, oh well,
I’m not sure that I should tell.

Oh well, oh well.

I pray every day,
It’s just words, but He says,
I can do this, I won’t break,
If I just have faith in Him.

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