Be Honest

Look back to when I thought I was healthy,
Never asked anyone if they would help me,
I took it all in, never letting it out so you’d see,
I was just trying to be, I was just trying to be.

And then I hit that wall
And my luck fell so far,
Nothing went right, I fell apart,
And when I told it to depart,
Lord, You know how bad that hurt,
When I realized my worth
In Your eyes before my birth,
That I’d brutalized Your church,
I’d demoralized my mirth,
By my panic, thinking backwards,
Stifled my embarrassment like passwords,
Just placing asterisks where there were bad words,
In my mind, these words are falling short, Lord…

Place me before You and I cast a shadow,
I see the dirt on me like I have never showered,
I should be a window but I’ve got the blinds closed,
Never sure enough of all the things that I know.

But I’m honest,
I seriously want this.
Don’t spend all my days falling,
No, sometimes, I am just calling,
Maybe falling apart, befalling
Myself by the wayside, but I’m all in,
I believe that Jesus died for my sin,
So I fight when all I hear is condemnation,
Don’t call me out on this,
Take that straight to Jesus,
I’ll take your correction,
If you quit deflecting,
I trust your discretion
If you’re in the same direction,
Your intentions are your own, I am defenseless,
But I’m gonna love you anyway until we all win this.
Check me out, you will see that I am earnest,
Ask me a question, you will see that I believe this.

I am thankful for my brokenness,
If I wasn’t falling, I’d have none of this,
And if I’m preaching about graciousness,
You had better see it in my life before you doubt my honestness,
But the righteousness of which we all act so deserving was
There long before we even noticed.
It was there long before we ever noticed.

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