Is It Sticking?

Spaghetti on the wall,
Will you hang or will you fall?
I’m six-foot seven tall,
Even stick out in the shopping mall,
Generalized anxiety’s my acid paper ball,
But God found me and now I’m just struggling is all.

I’m hard to embrace,
I’m a total headcase,
Pretending that I am in first place,
When I’m always petrified that I just lost the race.
And I’m way too honest with it,
Trust me, it’s obvious no one wants it,
Hear a lot about it when nobody thinks I’m listening,
But it’s my one defense in this long road, I’m just visiting.

I’d really love to make it at this,
My feelings want me to fake my habits,
I’m reeling for want of sacred solace,
Impeding drought just flaunts and mollests.

Jesus, Your Word hurts,
Please, I’m backward, sure,
I’m pleading for Your work
I’m bleeding at the back of my church.

I was so willing to be a streetside newspaper box,
But I’m beginning to feel defeated like a used-up pair of socks,
I’m underperforming, yet my feelings cry they’re useful for my talk,
Help me, dear Lord, please! I’m done dealing with this indwelling crock.

O-dile,
It might take a while
Before I’m in style,
I fell for my wiles,
My stinky, bad piles
Of baggage and rifles
I once had to stifle.
But no, I’m not trifle,
I’m honest but frightful,
And I can’t read my Bible
Without worrying about idols,
Seems impossibly idle
Of me to sit home and bridle
Myself to Who took my title
And reduced me to myself,
But point fingers and meddle,
You won’t change it, that’s mental,
My God’s gracious, not judgemental,
Shows me His favour when I’m feeling empty,
Gives me new flavours for my reeling gentry.

I can’t do this, honest it’s true,
Keep falling through, it’s harder to do
Than not trying to, but I’m not here to choose.
If You’d honour me too, I could do this for You,
But You’re God and there’s no one else who’s truth,
You are God, and there is no darkness in You.

So no matter what I do or think today,
Let it be known that You, my God, You are Yahweh,
Almighty God, can’t get in Your way,
Please be glorified in whatever today.

Jesus, I need You,
Peace, please, and hope, too?
I’m hurting and my mind is torn in two,
But I honestly, earnestly only want You.

Be my Healer,
See my lesion,
Free me, Freer,
Help me see this.

I can’t find You with words, but will You open my heart?
I can’t find You with words, but will You open my heart?

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