Can I tell you a secret?
Can you keep it safe?
My mind is as dark as a sewer,
Unwarily I trick myself into rebar, impale.
I don’t know what’s safe,
The diff’rence between right and wrong is all gray,
I don’t know what to say,
Seems all of my nightmares become real today,
I’m uncaged by faith,
Ev’rything that I do falls apart on due day.
Should I say “oh well,”
Man, this feels too much like hell,
Somebody rang the dinner bell
While I was still tied up with belts.
Beat me blue with welts,
I’ve taken it before, heaven tells,
Here I am, complaining about hell
When it’s all that I want, these words are my knell…
Have I fallen so far it’s a stick or a stone
Instead of fish or some bread? It’s all just dry bones…
Tell me, instruct me to speak to this valley of groans,
Isn’t there a way for You to redeem my stone?
This heart, this cold and broken bone?
Isn’t nothing impossible for You?
Haven’t You taught me what’s true?
Am I just a hollow tooth
In Your mouth to be removed?
Oh…is it true?
You never fall through…
I’m on the brink, it’s the truth,
How far will I slide before You catch me, I’m new…
I thought it was true, thought I was young too.
What am I supposed to do?
I cannot turn my back on You,
I’m too afraid to do…
These words fall with ease,
But my heart feels empty,
Never been so lonely…
Why do I feel like a thief?
How pathetic my woe,
I’m infinitely slow,
Words hurt me in my bones,
I cannot heal from angry tones,
This is like Elantris except there’s no hope,
You were my Answer, but I’m completely broke…
I’ve been angry,
I’ve done wrong,
I’ve been angsty,
Hurt Your Son,
I wish I could have won,
Wish I was enough for God.
Your blood was spilled for my sin.
And the grave failed, You rose again,
You promised that my debt was cancelled and
You’d not let me fall again.
I’m just confused,
Somebody tell me the truth,
Where are You?
What did I do?
What do I do?
What have I done to You?
My God, I’ve been like a son to You,
And I’m wretched, I know, I wreck my love too,
Oh God, my God, please heal me, I’m through.
God, oh heal me, I’m through.
How many times?
How often I’m
Caught up in my
Stupid mind paradigm,
Help me to find
Your grace for my mind,
I’m way out of line,
But I NEED YOU THIS TIME.
God my God…