Morning Wanderer

Can You help me?
I’m a little bit lost in my insecurity,
Can’t trust a thought, they’re all death to me,
Even the few verses I read, they hurt like hell, I’m weak,
Broken, can’t be trusted, these trains of mind collide in mine, speak,
Please, peace to me, oh nourish my heart so I can see.

I wanna quit pointin’ the finger at myself,
Arranging all these words on my private bookshelf,
God, You really are my only Help,
And I forget, I grab the reins, crash right away, “Check this out!” I yell.
What’s most ridiculous is You do,
You’re 100 per cent patient, too,
You wait for me to do this thing,
Like I could really ever grasp the wind,
And when I’m through and I’m spent,
When I realize the direction I went,
Lord, You’re always there, pickin’ me off the pavement.

So I have to admit I am rebellious,
I find peace of mind in my swollen wrists,
Of mind, constantly berating and querulous,
Like this is a mask to tell You I’m not jealous…

Oh,
Who am I?
I mean really?
A speck on the floor at Your feet if you squint,
Lord, I dance around, maybe if I act just right, I’ll glint,
Constantly confusing myself with this prophecy bent,
Maybe I could just lie down and worship at Your feet,
Maybe I could just lay it all down and submit to Your peace.

This deep, empty longing in me,
Is for Your righteousness, I see,
You’re the One who can do it, not me,
I keep trying to hug the ladder rungs, terrifiedly,
Like it’s not You who’s lifting me up in mercy,
Like it’s somehow not Your grace that sets me free.

God, I could never act right,
Oh Father, I am guilty and ablight,
Help me with Your victory, set me alight,
I know You’re really good to me, give me flight,
Help me worship Your perfect Name with all my might,
Lord, You’re more than perfect, You are endlessly Alive!
I cannot make this perfect, but oh Lord, You know I try,
Please help me sacrifice this fleshly walk before I die,
I really, really, want to walk with You for my whole life.

You are the definition of good,
The premonition of hope,
The incarnation of love,
Showers of mercy like rain from above,
The impartation of grace like it’s done,
Salvation lakes, Your oceans’ heart throb,
Perfection in place, forever overcome.

Thank You,
Thank You,
Thank You!

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