I didn’t meant it,
Oh God, why was I screaming?
Was that really just my sickness?
I’m a little stunned, I guess,
Thought I was a bit stronger, I confess,
Wow did I ever fall low, unless…
Was that just my sickness?
I honestly can’t understand
This agony that backhands
Me, blinds me, binds both hands,
I’m sorry for complaining, I really want another chance…
I hope this is for You and not the invisible audience,
Prayin’ these words are true and I’m not vacillating all of this…
I know what I’ve said,
That I’d rather be dead,
I hide under my bed,
Begging it to break my neck,
I know what I did,
I know what I’ve bred…
Jesus, right now, Your sacrifice means more to me than life,
God, I’m down, it’s better for me to live than have a right,
Father, I bow, Your mercy doesn’t even make sense to me tonight,
Jehovah, show how You work Your love through this and carry me while I
Follow in Your footsteps as best as I know how; I can do this, right?
Teach me to be gentle with myself,
Show me how to handle my health,
I’m mentally unstable and there’s real damage that I’ve dealt,
I do not want excuses to defend me from myself,
I know what I deserve, nobody else can face this bell,
Thank You for what You’ve paid for me, I want to walk free from this hell,
Help me walk free from this hell…
God, they’ve never had anxiety,
And why’d they name it that? It’s not good for me,
To think like a lack of dopamine is somehow the same as living in fear,
I know what I stand for, God, You’re always so near,
When we decide to do something, Lord, it’s You we seek,
So help me grow in knowing You, the rest just reeks,
Oh Lord my God, Your goodness blesses me,
I don’t need to look at this week,
You’ve aready bled for it, free,
How can it be, You’re really He!
Jesus, from Nazareth, once kinda had an address,
Can you comprehend this, it’s shocking, astounding,
And now He’s in heaven, alive and well, still praying,
I would love to worship You, today, on my knees, sing praises,
But I’m okay with sitting, all quiet, if that’s okay with Yahweh.
Don’t think of me as sick anymore,
Cannot take it when you label me “Bore,
I belong right with my Father,
Because He called me, amen, unbothered,
I belong at Home, and one day I’ll receive the honour,
Passin’ through pearly gates ’cause I’m destined to prosper.
Thank You, Father.
Thank You, Father.