Scrabbling

Woke up with a headache,
My heart aches, knuckles I break,
You don’t understand this pain.

And I know you’ve got your own,
But I’m forever stuck in death throes,
And this clock just keeps on ticking so slow,
When’s my time up, when do I punch out? Whistle blow.

Feel like such an idiot, keep  beating myself senseless,
Don’t know how to wake up with it, it just seems endless,
Call it what it is, I’m pathetic, my whole life’s a mess.

Oh,
Oh oh,
God,
My God, my God,
Love me…

I believe; it just seems that I’m grieved,
Despite this peace, this perpetual bad dream,
Just will not release, I’m chained to these streams
Of merciless dreams and a perpetual scream.

But if I get this down, I might–
If I write it out right–
Feel a little less taken with blight,
And a little more caught up in the Light.
Just a bird without wings, I can’t catch flight,
Just a word without wisdom, I’m out of sight.

God, I know I believe,
If not, it wouldn’t be You I entreat,
It wouldn’t be for You that I plead,
I know I’d just go back to my greed.

And I know Your grace is enough,
I’m just so sick of this whole month,
Where’s the light at the end of this dusk?
I just wanna see it, gatch a glimpse just once.

Help me continue believing,
God, ’cause You know I’m not leaving,
No, I’d rather be with You, heavy leaning,
Than walk another step with unstoppable bleeding.

Just hold me.
Just hold me.

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