I’m Here

Yeeeeeah, I’m here,
Woke up, out of bed, took my meds,
Cigarette, coffee, starting to feel a bit less messed.

This is just how it goes, every day’s a brand new battle haze,
Careening off the walls, there’s no end to this cattle maze,
But like bowling with the rails up, I’m rollin’ forward ’til my game’s up.

Not just here to get jacked, just get attacked,
No, I’m really here, heart attack, quick snack, ratchet hatch,
Get my head straight, back on track, this is not my backup plan.

For real, I’m really here, and I’m gonna offer up
My whole life, even the junk, the stuff that’s dumb, that I can’t overcome,
No point hiding, I’m in a funk, can’t pull through, rank like a skunk.

But it’s alright. Had an epiphany overnight,
Yeah, if I play this right, might even gain back some eyesight,
Sow a seed in sunlight, and in time it gains height, get the fruit ripe.

But I know I can say this, merciful righteousness,
Every single day, brand new grace, this is love that’s in your face,
When your day’s caught up in Embrace, doesn’t matter who’s in first place..

See it?
Get it?
You don’t want a piece of it?
Get with it!
This isn’t make believe or playing at what’s not real,
This is not an attempt to retrieve what’s been received, given freely,
I’m not here to try and change you, arrange you, reach right in and profain you.
No, no, no, once I might have been that, once I might have fallen flat, but this is a fact,
When you get changed from the inside, when all you have to do is die,
Nothing is simpler and nothing is harder and nothing else on earth is worth the bother,
Ready? Haha, you’ll get it.

This isn’t a simple pain and suff’ring trip, this is insistence in persistence,
My existence is not for your inquisitive, impermissi-ive, incomprehensible permissiveness
Of constant, steady, sipping at my soul, spirit, conscience, slashing at my wrists and makin’ wish lists with it.
No, but I’ll give me up for you, it’s true, it’s a pointless proficience if I don’t use it,
Not insinuating that your situation is impossible, incompassionate’s not my style, take note of the situation,
But why’s the church the unsafest place to open up about my desperate need for vacation, Playstation?
Pointing at but never asking, telling to but just in passing, waiting ’til I move before you cash in.
I’m getting tired of this perpetual propogation of a situation that was not the issue, listen!
Ugh! Would you just listen, my permission, ask a question, hear it’s a mission?
Tell me I’m directionless again, I don’t see me stopping for you, expressionless and spent.
Throwing rocks at my train, delinquency isn’t the game, you’re just kids in pain,
Why we still working at this? Why we gotta go over this? Why can’t we just see face to face?
Pointless running, round and round we go, May pole, uh oh, look out below.
Let go the streamer, wistful dreamer, it’s not silken gossamer, it’s rags, filthy from your fingers.
We can get out of the way, free up the gate, let everybody in, don’t just postulate.
“To all who believe” means to all who believe, the way we treat the broken, man I just grieve.
There’s no reason to behave like we’re all suspects of treason, open season.

But I’m here. Frustrated and spent, but I’m still here.
Feelin’ like my namesake, “why God, everyone just hates me.”
But He says “Don’t worry, I know what I have for you,” makes me
Lie down in green pastures, walk by still water, He shapes me.
Can’t say no when I’ve got a God like that.
Can’t give up hope when I know He’s got my back.

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