Morning Coffee: Epic Flail Edition

coffee bag beans

Today has been odd so far. I was all set to make pancakes when I realized we’re out of milk. Small delay. No big deal. I set out to buy some from the store.

And, by the way, it is beautiful outside today. It feels like spring and it’s not even March.

I walked to the Rexall at Corydon and Stafford (Winnipegers will know.) But as I walked, the sidewalk got steadily more wet. I thought it was a bit strange because it’s not that warm, but I started trotting through it anyway. And I’d just like to go on the record as saying that I know walking faster does nothing to keep my feet dry when the water is halfway up my shoes. I really do know this. I don’t know why I try it anyway.

So, there’s me, skipping through puddles along the sidewalk like a moron and then I come to the intersection.

Rexall was in sight, people. But now I saw the source of the water seeping through my socks. Orange vests.

Well, they weren’t the problem. They were the indicator of a problem that affected more people than just me and my poor, wet feet. There was water everywhere in the street, high enough to flood onto the sidewalk.

But, you know, I’m a determined kind of guy. I waited for a break in traffic going both ways and leaped into the impromptu lake.

I don’t know about you, but when I jump into an ankle deep puddle, I do not expect a sheet of pristine ice underneath it. My feet shot straight up, gravity be damned, and I proceeded to do the strangest dance anybody had ever seen. I mean, cars stopped to watch. I’m not even kidding. I knew the second I didn’t just take the dive that I was going to make a spectacle of myself, but I was not going to fall in that water. So, with my feet somehow slipping straight skyward one at a time, I staggered and crabwalked and did headspins (not quite) until I caught myself, barely, soaked right through anyway, rose from my crouch and went to buy my stupid milk.

And you know what? Those pancakes didn’t suck, so HAH! Take that, day.

If you’re from Winnipeg and you saw my display of acrobatics, thank you for not running me over.

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3 thoughts on “Morning Coffee: Epic Flail Edition

  1. Louella says:

    Thanks for the entertainment and laugh! Not that I’m happy you hit ice… it reminded me of my dance on my walk home from work yesterday. Yeah, and I also wondered who saw me through their curtains… I didn’t have any cars at that moment. I’m glad you’re ok.. and I’m GLAD YOU”RE WRITING!

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