Polaris

Once upon a time,
I lost hope in myself,
Faith in faith couldn’t tell
When trumpets played inside so loud.
That is how I thought then;
This is how I think now.
Tomorrow might be far away,
But yesterday is gone.

I wonder if Polaris knows
We just call her the “North Star.”
Burning ball of nuclear storm,
Bet she thinks she’s got it all.
I wonder if she hopes for more,
Because, from here it’s just a spark.
Big and bright, but further flung,
Location overshadows dark.

Seeds die for trees to grow,
And tears fall to water your soul,
The years might last too long for you,
But that’s okay, the next one’s new.
Tomorrow morning might feel due,
But down the road, you’ll see what’s true,
Hindsight helps us not to brood,
But keeping time distracts the youth.

I wonder if Polaris knows
We just call her the “North Star.”
Burning ball of nuclear storm,
Bet she thinks she’s got it all.
I wonder if she hopes for more,
Because, from here it’s just a spark.
Big and bright, but further flung,
Location overshadows dark.

Tattoo what I do onto my eyes,
Back of outsides, my eyelids so I
Stand apart, untied,
Yellow in my
Mellow, yet perturbulent insides.
Stormy seas, I try
But I’m navigationally dry,
I squint to see through fog but cry,
Tears in my eyes, guess I can’t find
The best path after all, oh my.
Must be where I am that’s fine,
Glad I have my Saviour’s mind.

I wonder if Polaris knows
We just call her the “North Star.”
Burning ball of nuclear storm,
Bet she thinks she’s got it all.
I wonder if she hopes for more,
Because, from here it’s just a spark.
Big and bright, but further flung,
Location overshadows dark.

Rhythm

Every drumbeat needs a rhythm,
Every life requires a pattern,
Follow one, two make schisms,
Distractions keep asking​, “What happened?”
We don’t negotiate with terrorism,
My inside man tells me his back hurts,
But I know I’ll be fine in heaven.

Try not to make a mistake,
Leave the rest in,
Helplessness gets diagnosed as hate.
Interesting.
I can’t act perfect, that’s fake.
I’m overscrutinizing,
Telephone my vision, tap glass ’til it breaks,
Align with the right thing.
Prescriptionize my misinformative brain,
But pendulums swing.

Every drumbeat needs a rhythm,
Every life requires a pattern,
Follow one, two make schisms,
Distractions keep asking​, “What happened?”
We don’t negotiate with terrorism,
My inside man tells me his back hurts,
But I know I’ll be fine in heaven.

Ham sandwiches​ under corduroy pants,
Guess I’m feeling itchy,
There’s a peanut butter jam
In my pocket, itty bitty
Like a little diddy that I’m singing all the time.
The Sandman doesn’t stand
When the rain is filling ditches,
Guess tomorrow’s lost its stitches,
Ampersands understand there’s a lot to lose at hand,
If we’re feeling like we’re sickly, maybe best to state we’re prickly,
Can’t hide under bland imitation Dollarama plants.

Every drumbeat needs a rhythm,
Every life requires a pattern,
Follow one, two make schisms,
Distractions keep asking​, “What happened?”
We don’t negotiate with terrorism,
My inside man tells me his back hurts,
But I know I’ll be fine in heaven.

Guess we dissipate in slow-motion,
20,000 frames per second, change direction,
Got a bunch of dandelions and I’m feeling imperceptive,
Holding my lamp high, but I’m chasing my reflection,
Guess a Mennonite can’t dance with the privacy detectives,
Hammering these cast pans,
Interfering with my stilted lectures.

Every drumbeat needs a rhythm,
Every life requires a pattern,
Follow one, two make schisms,
Distractions keep asking​, “What happened?”
We don’t negotiate with terrorism,
My inside man tells me his back hurts,
But I know I’ll be fine in heaven.

Step Back

I see the people pass me by,
And I ask myself a question why.
Do they fade so deep inside
In the same desperate way that I
Embrace the futility of a directionless life?
Or can we never see eye to eye?
This song is not close to being sly.
Even though the way I act is shy.
I keep my head down when I am outside,
Only look up if you ask for help or a fight.
But falling through can’t be all mine.
My soul inside is growing in Christ.
I feel often like I lie
But Jesus does not deny.

I just gotta step back,
Take it down a little bit,
Not sure what to do next,
But I’ve been pushing too hard
And I gotta take a step back.

Narcissism has my number,
Keep on calling it up,
You might get my voicemail thunder.
I apologize for my attitude and stuff,
But wrenches in my gears are malicious as they’re unfair,
Plus they’re inaccurate as guns,
And to bring about what’s irritating causes hopeful minds to stumble.
I guess I’ve had enough.

I just gotta step back,
Take it down a little bit,
Not sure what to do next,
But I’ve been pushing too hard
And I gotta take a step back.

Insane, I dance on top
Of this box,
I’ll detox,
Fix my thoughts,
Scatter termite dens to dust,
I’ll stand for want
Of hope and love,
Forgive the ones
Who mess up my run,
Throw grease on my rungs,
Call police when I’m bummed.
I am not overrun,
Neither am I undone,
Jesus once forever won,
Shared up the life of God’s own Son.

I just wanna step back,
Slow it down a little bit,
Not sure what I’ll do next,
But I’ve been hoping for my Lord
To restore me from my lack,
But I would rather stay and rap
And see Jesus win us back.

Partake

I’m trading my hate.
Replacing my gait,
Full-facing my state,
I’m embroiled in faith.
Every single day I say,
“God, I need Your help today.”
I’m full-fledged, God stayed,
Made me a super safe place.
My brain feels unsafe like I fail
Every thought, but Jesus prevails.
He fulfills my heart anyway.
Lets me enjoy, partake and pray.

Like a piece of paper,
Crumpled over and over,
Our lives get trampled, broken,
Until it’s fabric, softly spoken,
Not offended by the golden
Filigree, this clay gets softened,
Feels like a never-ending search for Boston,
But in the end, it’s Augustana’s​ courage,
Let your heart get broken for faith,
Maybe get crushed, but we’re on the way.
Comfort promises but can’t sustain,
Peace inside won’t burn with pain.
Telling the truth doesn’t help me pray,
But turning aside from my past can’t belay,

I tried that and I ended enraged,
Wish I hadn’t done that, but Messiah saved a place,
Think that now I’m settled into walking day by day,
But that’s dependent on what God Almighty says,
I’m not interrogant, I think I just fade a little bit
When I feel like I’ve misplaced my inside man cannot dance.

I’m trading my hate.
Replacing my gait,
Full-facing my state,
I’m embroiled in faith.
Every single day I say,
“God, I need Your help today.”
I’m full-fledged, God stayed,
Made me a super safe place.
My brain feels unsafe like I fail
Every thought, but Jesus prevails.
He fulfills my heart anyway.
Lets me enjoy, partake and pray.

Singsong, singalongs, lemme tell you ’bout a God
Who knows more about good than we ever knew we could,
Does not bat an eye at the evil in us,
He’s the Maker of love, sent Messiah from above
So that we could overcome,
And stop running from His love.
Set up an open door, Jesus cares way more
About our pain than we’ll ever understand.

I’m trading my hate.
Replacing my gait,
Full-facing my state,
I’m embroiled in faith.
Every single day I say,
“God, I need Your help today.”
I’m full-fledged, God stayed,
Made me a super safe place.
My brain feels unsafe like I fail
Every thought, but Jesus prevails.
He fulfills my heart anyway.
Lets me enjoy, partake and pray.

Repetitive

I think I wanna write a new song,
Something I haven’t already gone on
And on about like a repetitive song,
And on and on, repetitive song.

Repetitive song.
Just goes on so long,
Repentative walk,
Just singing the same song.
Each day, yesterday’s all gone,
And tomorrow’s never won.
Repetitive song,
I’ma go on and on and on.

On and on,
This long, hard walk
Becomes my thoughts,
Deterred from stops,
These red lights can’t talk.
Yellow was a warning and the green is on tap.
It’s a Saturday night in my intellect and
I’m feeling overcome, but it’s temporary lack.
I’ma skip it on back, man I always say that,
Cannot feel like I’m on track,
I won’t find my way out back.

Repetitive song.
Just goes on so long,
Repentative walk,
Just singing the same song.
Each day, yesterday’s all gone,
And tomorrow’s never won.
Repetitive song,
I’ma go on and on and on.

I’ve been gone so long,
Inside Out got it wrong,
No one knows what’s right from wrong,
I can lead myself so strong,
Serenade my feelings, kneel until it’s gone,
On my balcony sits an irritating bong.
But in the end, I am tempted ’till I’m wrong,
Entertain the thoughts in my head like the snake ate a stone,
Spit it all back up, now it’s gravel on my lawn.
Sweep it back up, throw it all out again.

Repetitive song.
Just goes on so long,
Repentative walk,
Just singing the same song.
Each day, yesterday’s all gone,
And tomorrow’s never won.
Repetitive song,
I’ma go on and on and on.

Sparks

Painting slick lines
With no hint of a rewind,
I’m just taking my time,
Sniffin’ roses like time’s belated, sublime,
Quippin’ like Moses ’cause I just can’t quit these rhymes,
Let me go dig for hope, bring you what I find.
You can trust me on this, I will share good if it’s mine.
Only one thing I’m real sure of: God is on my side.

My proficiency
Is not my sufficiency,
More like my deficiency,
I cannot ask you to see
Eye to eye with all my needs,
That’s a ridiculously
Exaggerated parade malady.
Stand aside, I’ll see,
I’m a potted plant, I’m greed,
If you can sustain nutritionally,
I need water, food, sunlight photosynthesis indeed,
Aha Gazelle might have taught me something neat,
I listened up, cleaned my ears out, kicked the grief,
Locked it in a closet, jettisoned​ it somewhere east.
Mars is ahead, but it’s overgrown in cheese,
I don’t need my eyes on it, janky with anxiety,
Think my trajectory might encourage more to see.
The sun keeps rising anyway, kicking up my feet.
Guess I’m packing it away, didn’t need defeat,
I can worship Who I pray to, that’s not empty poetry,
There is only One who died in my place to set me free.
There is only One Name under heaven to believe,
Only One to call on when we stumble under fear.
Jesus Christ is offering us everlasting peace.
Father God Almighty doesn’t deter from relief.

Painting slick lines
With no hint of a rewind,
I’m just taking my time,
Sniffin’ roses like time’s belated, sublime,
Quippin’ like Moses ’cause I just can’t quit these rhymes,
Let me go dig for hope, bring you what I find.
You can trust me on this, I will share good if it’s mine.
Only one thing I’m real sure of: God is on my side.

I get upset.
Anger in my head,
It didn’t happen yet,
But imagination says,
“This is reality, oh yes,”
But I have to confess,
I’m the source of my own mess,
Insanity dance to dust,
I am growing in trust,
In my mind there’s lust,
I’m always hurt for meds,
More than that too, but
I’m not borrowing this love.
And pain gets to fade, we’re safe above.
God has never failed, we get brand new lives.
Losing what we have is just the next thing arrived,
Taking what we have and we offer it alive,
Teeny, tiny offerings, like sparks flung from a fire.
Constantly amazes me He’d even spare the time,
What do we ever do except fail to follow Christ?

Painting slick lines
With no hint of a rewind,
I’m just taking my time,
Sniffin’ roses like time’s belated, sublime,
Quippin’ like Moses ’cause I just can’t quit these rhymes,
Let me go dig for hope, bring you what I find.
You can trust me on this, I will share good if it’s mine.
Only one thing I’m real sure of: God is on my side.

Scrutiny

I’ve been doing my own thing lately,
Yeah, with Jesus on my side,
I’m facin’ it,
He’s with me and
I’m facin’ it.
But my mind is in a mutiny.
My motivation can’t survive the scrutiny.
But I’m facin’ it.

I’m facin’ it.

Take a step back and​ listen,
I’m on tap but I taste like medicine,
Bored but I’m not inconsistent,
Every day it’s like I’m walking chains off in inches,
But that’s ambitious,
I am incoherently suspicious,
Can I do your dishes?
I’m not here to repaint fences.
Guess it’s spindles and fingers,
I’m just waiting so I can pull out the splinters,
Music box, I’ll dance repentant,
Face the mirror I’ve been given,
See what’s waiting there in heaven,
Things I long for, I’ve inherited,
Jesus told me He had spared me.
Settled​ down, but it’s peace I carry,
Stipulated frowns when I was ferried,
River Styx looked all kinds a scary,
But Saviour found me kicking berries
Into a puddle, terrified that lies were all I need,
I don’t know how free He set me,
But I know tomorrow I will be
Closer to Him than today can believe,
Unfolding like a Star Wars title screen,
I’m just skipping carefree,
Down these lanes, beside these streams,
I have to admit I didn’t put myself here,
Gepetto can vouch, I am not a puppeteer.
Imaginary friends might spend more time with me,
But I am not friends with my grief,
Tears can end with a promise of cheer,
Guess it’s not always easy to hear.

I’ve been doing my own thing lately,
Yeah, with Jesus on my side,
I’m facin’ it,
He’s with me and
I’m facin’ it.
And now my mind is in a mutiny.
My motivation can’t survive the scrutiny.
But I’ll face it.

I’m facin’ it.

I stomp on thoughts like I’m crushing cans,
Godzilla massacre the crispy edge of plans,
Cannot abide the thought I have it in my hands,
Kick, scream, cry and shout, Messiah, help me stand.
There’s hope beyond the waves, we’ll make it if we can.
Parasailing on the way, sightseeing​ with Batman.

I’ve been doing my own thing lately,
Yeah, with Jesus on my side,
I’m facin’ it,
He’s with me and
I’m facin’ it.
And now my mind is in a mutiny.
My motivation can’t survive the scrutiny.

The wolf can whisper lies,
Like karagana vines,
With cucumber insides,
And raspberries for eyes.
Prairie chickens​ hide
Back behind the rhubarb pie,
Burrs and thistles stick to thighs,
Even denim can’t deny,
Mario’s Nintendo’s fried,
But he’s too busy chasing brides.

I’ve been doing my own thing lately,
Yeah, with Jesus on my side,
I’m facin’ it,
He’s with me and
I’m facin’ it.
And now my mind is in a mutiny.
My motivation can’t survive the scrutiny.