The Price

So my honesty got burnt,
Oh yeah, it hurt,
Gatling guns spit smokey blood,
But Messiah took the brunt,
Stood between and took it all,
Between you and me and God,
Paid the price, defends for love,
In the in-between of you and me and God.

I’m not schizophrenic,
I just think until my worry talks,
So I sympathize with it,
But I’m not even afraid;
I just wanna fix it all.
Like Pokemon,
Greedy little guns,
Feeding what I want,
Creeping after thoughts
Like, “I made everything up.”
Hey! Hey!
I’ma shut up.
I don’t know stuff.
Can’t barely never not look up,
Just yell at my thoughts like a shotgun,
Terrify myself
For thinking like this…
Oh!
You think we just here to look like we so pretty,
Heady disease, it’s messy, life’s not neat,
Get that on repeat, unseat the deceit
Receded entreatment might defeat through peace despite season
And my belief is that we bleed for a reason,
Take my greed up to speed, I’m obscene, please leave it,
“Forgiven” means I’ve received and I’m content to let that be.

Yeah, my honesty got burnt,
Oh yeah, it hurt,
Gatling guns spit smokey blood,
But Messiah took the brunt,
Stood between and took it all,
Between you and me and God,
Paid the price, defends for love,
In the in-between of you and me and God.

So my integrity got burnt,
Oh yeah, it hurt,
Gatling guns spit smokey blood,
But Messiah took the brunt,
Stood between and took it all,
Between you and me and God,
Paid the price, defends for love,
In the in-between of you and me and God.

I’m feeling gleeful and excited:
Jesus told me everything I needed.
Went through hell, but I’m still undefeated.
It won’t be this clear forever, will it?
Will it?
Will it?
Will it?
Will it?
Donkey Kong on a go-kart ripping through a blocked​ fort,
Tearing down the asherahs, the totems and the repeated instruction of the trending fads of doubt.
I’ma just let out a shout,
Kick a medicine ball around,
Make a second method without hope,
But I won’t take offense if I can just endure the rope.

So my villa home got burnt,
Oh yeah, it hurt,
Gatling guns spit smokey blood,
But Jesus took the brunt,
Stood between and took it all,
Between you and me and God,
Paid the price, defends for love,
In the in-between of you and me and God.

Have you ever watched a mountain fall
Like crystal caverns scattering down?
Have you witnessed tall become so small–
Buy seventeen new cars to make interpretive house calls–
Have you cut out the whine, the groaning, the moan of doubt?
Ample parking space for the insufficient balls,
Pleasantries seduce the crowds but reduce us to our faults,
Have you checked the lunch menu? There’s a list of what’s on tap,
And it tastes like crap,
Like the discount adds to facts,
Get so pissed off when we rap
Like it’s scary just to have
Abilities and scarred up hands
Like we stand
On restorative moral mechanisms
Like the weakness is defective,
Detective, inspected for invective,
I’ll peddle less, distance is wet,
Projector test, spinning reels make stupid bets.
Take incarcerative prescriptional pretense
To the credit union, banks take hand over fist.
Writer’s pen makes weird decisions,
Pestilence is a pretender,
Best to get belittled a bit less, it’s ended
And I quit the bender,
Spent my ticking watch on questions,
Bent my brain but my heart’s invested.
Spend it all on what’s important, forgiveness is addictive,
Hit me, hit me again, I found what I envy!
Bless me, or don’t, curses fertilize me,
Hurt me, I’ll hold onto what I have been given
And let go of all the places I still think I’m perfect.
I’ll blaze it up in tracks that scream like a 4H gathering,
Made this all at home, but I brewed it up so carefully,
Penitence is worthless when I leave aside the mercy,
Picking at the scab won’t encourage faster healing,
And slot machine casino stops make everything so thoughtless,
But I’m spotlessly
Covered over in my need,
Picking crumbs up from that Meal,
Just a dog to call to feel;
I’m exuberant with ecstasy,
I was expelled from a week of grief,
Briefly bereaved to prevent what I feared,
Presently attestamenting that my perfect arc can veer
And future tense just grabs attention from what’s already here.
Unconditional love skips reservation, I’ll attempt to make frickin’ lemonade,
My potential lies in the places I’ve been unmade,
I’m unmatched in my wordsmith-forged carrousel games,
Pick a horse and stay on it, I’ve never seen the Way,
Swinging chains make crystal chimes attempt to sing to stay,
I burned my fingers on the carpet, flipped a wrist to pray,
King Saul gave me armour, but I only know the sling.
Mountain turned to dust and spray,
Like waves that crash against the quay,
Boardwalk fell but I’m okay.
I’m preserved by bigger faith.

Carnage
Like varnish,
I’m barbed and
These thorny
Lines are prickling ears.
Tickling tears,
Bespeckling with deer
Like a wilderness in winter,
Gets abruptly cold, turned teeth
From ententacling into trouble terribly,
Take turns trickin’ thieves,
But takes a left turn at something that is just a little bit less East,
So take a test please,
I’m unattestable,
Bent outta shape, I took
==={{}}}====
A lot longer than I had a right to take,
Current pulled stronger than I can ever fake,
Trip me out, I medicate but kill me with less hate.
Who can take my defense if I trumpet I got faith?
Ambassadors on donkeys can’t listen through their flags,
Get me out this saddle, I still don’t know what I’ve done.
Push me, pull me, pander me, I petrify the mountain,
But kill me lest I hesitate in my hidden garden,
Inward blending of my bitterness at pardon.
Buildings are pretended soundbars kicking at celestial stardom,
Blaze my beats, I’ll build a better place to guard them.
Tempted I could pull away, pestilence just drains me dry.
I’ve become irreparably embarrassed by me, oh my,
My carefully created, measured out to boundlessly
Description of my version of my bullet time point blank cheek.
I’m​ not happy dressed in guilt or getting up so publically.
Can’t take credit or the pressure, think it might kill me.
Gotta dance, or something gladly, I don’t want to bleed.
Bust these bonds,
Bounce me home,
Build my hope
In people, ohhh,
Builder, boss me better,
I’m imbibing bitter butter.
Brittleness berates my back,
But I’m unbearably umbrellad by my past.
Try to break the bondage but I barely broke the bat.
Build me better, I’m unable sorry bust my bonds I’m flat…
Bet a little bit less on my greed, and heal my hurt, for the sake, for the sake of love.

There’s a man in the park.
He’s screaming at the dark.
I’ve heard it all, but it still smarts,
I don’t mind crying for the broken heart.
Watch me, judge me, on my balcony I mark
The path of the broken and the way of the lark.
I hope he finds peace before sunrise births its art,
Hope the helicopter that’s tripping him out flies away so far.
I’m praying Jesus finds him now and intercepts those evil darts.
Man, oh man, you’re worth more than you think; it’s hard
And you never once expected what you got,
But there’s hope, I know it’s true, please quiet your heart,
Don’t you know how much you’re worth? Where could I even start?
Justice for the broken, the oppressed, the ones tied in the dark.
Addictions make ten slaves out of a single spark.
I know what it’s like to be broken, splintered shards,
So I will not stop praying until that devil departs.

May I

I’m waiting for my medicine,
Called my friend and he said he could help,
Took my request with a grin.
Hoping I can let go of everything.
I don’t sleep well, but I win
When I don’t hold onto my sin.
I just want my medicine
So my brain can settle in.
I am thankful for my medicine.
I’ll smoke a blunt in Jesus’ Name,
And burn like acetylene.

I did not decide to pursue forgiving rain.
I just ended helpless so I cried and now I claim
My place that’s prepared for my janky, messed up faith.
I still have it, and I know He’ll keep my place.
Maybe I could do better but not without grace.
I hope it gets here soon because I’m feeling grey.
I could make a song, but I’m distracted by my pain.
Cigarettes don’t take away the restless voice​ of blame.
I can’t do a lot, but I’d really rather stay.

May I,
May I, may I
Make this beat fly?
Chase what’s in my eye?
May I,
May I, may I
Become less of my
And more of Christ?
May I,
May I, may I?

They say, “If you’re forgiven, then why don’t you believe it?”
Jesus says, “You’re already made clean by hearing Me.”
I can probably unleash a rap beast,
Hammer down, let me take you for a beat.

Yaaaaaah,
I’m ripping,
So done tripping,
I’m skipping on the spit banks,
I’ma slip on sticky tape to break dance,
Bust an audible move, slap you with alliterative bars,
I’m just roll it on and on til everybody’s seeing stars,
Keep me in line, guess a Kit Kat broke apart,
Blessings set on tap no matter what.
Settle me down, rap’s gonna tear up that mat.
So skip back, kill the bitterness before it gets handy,
Make sick tracks, sideloaded with a jacked up garnish,
Did you wanna know, didn’t think so, I’m untarnished,
Better bet a little better next time I get squashed and
Take a ticking time watch with me when I’m tickled by my past
Tense, so far overspent, feeling bent but I’m made new again.

May I,
May I, may I
Make this beat fly?
Overcome what’s stuck in my eye?
May I,
May I, may I
Become less of my
And more of Jesus Christ?
May I,
May I, may I?

So
I’ma whack this bat
Over your head like a panic attack,
Lemme blaze a little pot, lemme get taken aback,
Lemme skip the backhanded thoughts that crack
Like whips in my heart, cardiac inside man gasps last.
Lemmings topple offa cliffs, follow but maybe blame their backs,
Lemons just make lemonade, checking out cannot build back.
If it’s medical, I lack, but I like what Mexico has,
Yeah, if I had to pick a place to vacation it’s that.
Where it’s cold, and always snows, we just survive like it’s a fact
Of life, nothing we can do about that,
But I could swing a tennis racket
A second, third, four hundred and a half
More times and I’d still just fall right flat.

Extravagant

There’s a duvet in the sky,
Cotton strands pulled out so wide,
Cover me with new day Light,
Blanket my life with Jesus Christ.
Forgiven by grace so I can have life,
Loved extravagantly like I’ve been washed to white,
Taken down a peg or two so I don’t fight my pride,
And given to foreverness, to give and not to gripe.

Mercy knows what trouble is,
And darkness just tells lies when it rains.
Draw me close, Lord, double down,
And help me hope in what You bring.
I can’t fake a single thing
And I’m more thankful than I think.
Pull the covers over my brain
And quiet my unsteady way.

There’s a monster under my bed,
The cost of checking what I have.
There’s a full moon overhead,
And I don’t know if I’ll be glad
If I persist at what I left
Or if I just need to do less math.
Birds like standing over my stead,
Watch over everything I can’t,
Check my thinking with my jacket,
I’m terrifically​ intact,
Tell the legend ledgers they can have my meds,
Because I ran into a brick wall
And I’m kinda feeling bent.

Bent,
Spent,
Take a breath mint,
Step
Left,
Right, go on ahead,
Gen-tlemen
Replace ideas with a fence,
Delve
Twelve
Dozen feet under ice,
Met
The Best
When I fell through on my own bet.
Guess,
Yet,
I’ll throw away my tent.
Patient,
Friend,
Don’t aim for weekends,
Past
Tense
Repeatedly offends.

Mercy knows what trouble is,
And darkness just tells lies when it rains.
Draw me close, Lord, double down,
And help me hope in what You bring.
I can’t fake a single thing
And I’m more thankful than I think.
Pull the covers over my brain
And quiet my unsteady way.

“Try” is something for you
To say to yourself.
“Help” is a word
That gets dusty on the shelf.
“Hope” is a fine thought,
But requires that you spend it.
“Forever” isn’t half as far
Away as our defenses.
“Me last” gets us both there
Much faster than “watch this.”
Heaven knows how we fare,
So be carefree because God knows best.

Mercy knows what trouble is,
And darkness just tells lies when it rains.
Draw me close, Lord, double down,
And help me hope in what You bring.
I can’t fake a single thing
And I’m more thankful than I think.
Pull the covers over my brain
And quiet my unsteady way.

If I Try

Hi.
Is it okay if I try?
I won’t impress, promise I
Just want to try
I’ll fall apart, might not make eye
Contact for long, but I just want to try.
Is it okay if I try?
Message me so private my
Reprobate mind doesn’t realize
I fell apart, public conversation rife
With hidden meaning, double talk like knives.
Find me crying by the garage, I tried.
I tried, I tried, I tried,
Is it okay if I try?
You have never seen me tell a lie.
You have never laughed me back to life.
You have not been half as close as I
To the mocker you unleashed tonight.
Is it
Okay
If
I
Try?
Promise I won’t impress you guys.
But is it okay if I try?

Delete the verse about my medication,
What’s the point? It’s just fodder for the crazies,
The livid, illucid, raving mad sorry cases,
If I can’t talk straight, why bother to present
Myself at all? Might as well stay in bed.
I keep putting violins into songs
And I see what that looks like.
Call whine-one-one, I hear the tiniest fiddle,
But that knife blade’s so dull, you might have to whittle.
I’m not sure we need this pit stop, so let’s skip the drivel.
I’m not here to fake my way, I needed help so badly.
But they left us in the cold, what could we do but rally?
Hungry band of misfit wanderers, waiting ’til we’re patient.
Is there less or more in store for steady misbehaviour?
Where’s the translation assistant? Maybe hearts are worth a bit more.
Maybe what’s inside is where
Jesus wants to help us care.
I am tired, but I dare
To pray to God instead of despair.

Hi.
Is it okay if I try?
I won’t impress, promise I
Just want to try
I’ll fall apart, might not make eye
Contact for long, but I just want to try.
Is it okay if I try?
Message me so private my
Reprobate mind doesn’t realize
I fell apart, public conversation rife
With hidden meaning, double talk like knives.
Find me crying by the garage, I tried.
I tried, I tried, I tried,
Is it okay if I try?
You have never seen me tell a lie.
You have never laughed me back to life.
You have not been half as close as I
To the mocker you unleashed tonight.
Is it
Okay
If
I
Try?
Promise I won’t impress you guys.
But is it okay if I try?

Can’t spend all our time
On yesterdays and lonely rhymes,
Like I am still afraid of dying.
Who would fear the mocker’s lying?
He’s gone mad with thoughts of maligning.
Messiah’s closer than mockery and sly hints.
He loves the center of our being.
Where we can’t stop ourselves from hearing
That Jesus loves the ones who love His nearness.
That He is God above and He will hold us if we fear Him.
No more crying there, He’s fearless.
No darkness in God, Jesus: Healer.
Loving Father showed his heart so clearly.
Jesus died on a cross so we could be free.
God is unrelenting merciful, forgave us on the tree.
Jesus forgave us on the tree.

Knockout.
That’s a knockout.
Somebody else doubt,
Because I’m just gonna shout,
Got rocked but I won’t talk,
“Knockout! Knockout!”
Shout out, knockout.

Hi.
Is it okay if I try?
I won’t impress, promise I
Just want to try
I’ll fall apart, might not make eye
Contact for long, but I just want to try.
Is it okay if I try?
Message me so private my
Reprobate mind doesn’t realize
I fell apart, public conversation rife
With hidden meaning, double talk like knives.
Find me crying by the garage, I tried.
I tried, I tried, I tried,
Is it okay if I try?
You have never seen me tell a lie.
You have never laughed me back to life.
You have not been half as close as I
To the mocker you unleashed tonight.
Is it
Okay
If
I
Try?
Promise I won’t impress you guys.
But is it okay if I try?

My thoughts don’t make sense,
But I know what I want from this.
Don’t need it straight to confess
That I’m a sinner and that I’m a mess.
It’s okay, don’t mind, Jesus is my best.
Oh and when I pass the test,
Peter walking on the water, giving it my best.
Don’t make it less.
This is all that we can bet.
What you believe is how you link
What you like into your living.
Yeah, we worship thoughts like ink.
Someone say the right thing
So I know just what to think.
But it’s a slippy ice rink
Adding water ’til we sink
Until we run into the rain
And Messiah takes the reins.
Heaven has no word for “pain.”